Slipped Away
by SilverWind13
Summary: Erebor has been returned to the dwarves! Fili is doing well in his physical recovery, but when he has a suprise visit from Dis? The news she brings to him leaves him broken. Lost and lonley, Fili shuts out everyone. He is confused and has no idea what to do. With the help form the people closest to him, will Fili ever be the same? No incest!
1. Prologue

**Hope ya enjoy!**

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Fili woke with a start. He looked around, confused. He was in a large, quite comfortable bed in a room, that he quickly realized, was not his own. He panicked and tried to sit up, but any movement sent a shock of pain through his entire body. He fell back, feeling weak and defeated.

He was shaking violently and his eyes were wide with fear as he turned to the opening door, which creaked loudly.

"Mom?" Fili's eyebrows wrinkled as he stared at Dis, her appearance causing more confusion. "Where am I? What are you doing here?" The last time he remembered seeing his mother was before he left with his uncle, Thorin. Fili couldn't even remember how long ago that was.

"Fili!" Dis exclaimed while running to the bed side. Sitting on the bed next to him, she pulled him up to her and into a tight hug. A wave of pain shot through him, but he contained the yelp rising at the back of his throat cause he didn't want his mother to let go, though his wounds begged for release.

Dis, feeling Fili's body go tense from holding his breath, remembered the wounds and gently laid Fili down, cursing herself silently.

"Well, Fili," Dis wiped a tear out of her eye. "You did it! We are moving our people back into Erebor! You are in a recovery tent just outside the mountain. Do you remember anything?"

Fili shook his head. Dis sighed with relief and Fili closed his eyes, trying to fit the pieces together.

Fili opened his eyes and saw his mother smiling, sadly, at him. He followed the tear on her cheek up until he was looking into her eyes. They were sad, tired, and by looking into them; Fili could see her broken heart.

"I'm alright, mom." Fili wanted to comfort her. He would live. Didn't she already know that? But, if she did, what was making her so upset?

"Oh, Fili, I know. But…" She swallowed.

"'But' what?" Fili was hit with sudden worry.

"Oh, Fili!" Dis embraced him again, this time she leaned down to him and squeezed lightly. He pushed her up and, holding her shoulders firmly, stared into her eyes, begging her to speak to him, demanding a reply.

"It will come back to you." Dis smiled. Fili shook his head. What was she talking about? "You'll remember everything in time, love." Dis leaned over and kissed his forehead. When she pulled back, a tear curved from her eye and slid onto her smiling lips. Fili watched as it dropped into her open mouth before looking back into her eyes.

"We are going to be al…"

Suddenly, images flashed in Fili's head. They were starting to make sense! He was starting to remember! He sat up, ignoring the scream of his wounds, and his arms flailed out as he blindly grabbed at Dis. He finally was able to find her arms and he held it in a death grip. His blue eyes widened as he stared into his mother's eyes, searching for an answer.

"Kili?" he choked.

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**How'd ya like it? As excited for the next chapter as I am? Love ya!**


	2. In Remembrance of You

**_Okay! I typed to type this chapter up on an iPod Touch, so sorry for any problems! I will edit it once my computer starts working again!_**

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_ Fili looked around the battlefield. One word burned his mind. One word ran through his veins with his blood. One word formed in his mouth. The only word that meant everything to him._

_ "Kili! Kili?" he screamed. Turning in circles and occasionally slashing at advancing foes, Fili scanned all the heads as he searched for the recognizable mop of Kili's black hair._

_ "Fili?" Fili turned. the familiar voice bringing a smile to his face and tears to his eyes. "Fili!" Where was he? Where was Kili?_

_ He sighed with relief. There he was, making his way through the wall of orcs that kept him from Fili's side._

_ "Fili!" This time the call was a plead. Fili's smile was flipped upside down as his heart broke from the sound of his brother's teasing voice being so helpless. _

_ "I'm coming, Kili! Hold on, brother!" With a loud battle cry voiced with rage and vengeance, Fili charged at the barrier. Slashing with deathly blows that felled every enemy that dared to step into his path, Fili made it to his brother's side._

_ "Fili!" Kili dropped his bow and grabbed his brother, pulling him in close and crying to his shoulder. _

_ "Come on, Kili." Fili whispered into Kili's ear. "Just come with me till we find a place that's not so open." Kili pulled away and nodded, wiping his nose with the his pointer finger._

_ Once the two had gotten away from the sights and sounds of battle, Kili broke down. Dropping to his knees and shaking uncontrollably, he buried his face into his shaking hands. Fili dropped down next to him and wrapped him up in his arms._

_ "Kili! Pull yourself together! What ever happened to Mr. Mischief? Where did my little warrior go? Come on! We have a battle to fight! We can't desert Uncle now! Not after all we've been through! He is our uncle!" Fili took his brother's hand in his, got to his feet, pulled Kili up with him, and started to jog back to the battle. As he reached end of their connection, Fili's hand slipped from Kili's and fell, lamely, to his side. His mouth dropped open and he shook his head._

_ "It's not what I thought it would be."_

_ "What? Kili? What happened to you?"_

_ "It's so... Ugly."_

_ Fili sighed as the truth of his brother's words started to come together in his head. He threw his arms around Kili._

_ "I know. I know. It's going to be hard, Kili, but we've got to finish this. For Uncle. For Mom. For each other. Would you do that? For them? For me?" Kili nodded. "Good. Let's go." And this time Kili followed Fili back to the battle. And only a moment to late. _

_ "I dropped my bow. Do you remember where I left-" Kili stopped mid word as he bumped into his brother's back. "Fili? What's going-" He tried to look around Fili, but Fili reacted quickly, as always. He turned and blocked Kili's view of the field. Grabbing Kili's shoulder with a firm grip, Fili began to usher Kili back the way they had come. _

_ "Kili," his voice was firm as he directed his little brother as a father would a son. He pushed Kili down till he sat on the ground with his back against a tree. "Stay here. I'll be back for you soon." Fili ran back to the battle._

_ Drawing the swords he had sheathed while alone with Kili, Fili shouted and charged at the unsuspecting victims. The orcs yelped as he charged with showing fury._

_ Bolg, son of Azog, laughed and tightened his hold on Thorin's throat. Thorin's hands held the wrist of his enemy as his eyes searched, wildly, for escape. From what he could see, it was hopeless. The only comfort of his was the life of his heirs. His nephews._

_ "No!" And that was when Thorin's comfort snapped in two. His sacrifice for the only two that he promised himself would not die, that he promised Dis, would not allow anything of the sort. And this broke Thorin, physically and mentally, more then any choking hold anyone could have on him. Fili's voice echoing in the air, in his ears, was like the laughter of death mocking him. Telling him he made all the wrong decisions. That is exactly what he'd done. But it was time for a change. A time to make the right decision._

_ "Fili, no!" It came out as a croak. And even if he had heard it, Thorin could still hear Fili coming for him. "No, Fili." And that time he didn't even try to be loud enough for Fili to hear. Nothing would stop the stubborn dwarf. Nothing._

_ Bolg, smiling wickedly, threw Thorin aside. As he hit the ground with an echoing thump, Thorin gasped for breath. And he turned, with fear written on his usually masked face, to see Fili racing through the battle, no one trying to stop him and Bolg going out to meet him. _

_ Thorin, now having regained his breath, reached out to his nephew and yelled at him. It sounded more like a plea then a command. "Fili! Stop!"_

_ Fili's eyes flickered over to his uncle. Their gazes meet and Fili smiled, reassuringly. The confidence of the young heir only horrified Thorin more._

_ "Fili! Uncle!" Both of the dwarves turned to the direction of the call. Kili. No, Kili, Fili thought. Go back! But that was not Kili's intention. He grabbed his sword, having not been able to search for his bow, and ran, head first towards all the awaiting orcs._

_ "No, Kili, no!" Fili yelled as he reached out to his little brother, dropping both of his swords. That was his mistake. Slashing him many times in various places, Bolg took great advantage (and joy) out of the blonde dwarfs stumble. Fili winced and struggled as Bolg cut him in the arms, legs, back, and one final stab in the chest. Fili screamed out, unable to contain it any longer, even if it was for his brother's sake._

_ "No!" Both Thorin and Kili's voice rang out at the same time, echoing in Fili's ear along with a deafening buzz. Fili groaned as Bolg picked him up and tossed him to Thorin's side. He then headed for his next target._

_ Fili smiled at Thorin as his uncle crawled to his side. Blood seeped from a cut above one of Thorin's eyes and from his nose. His eye was close to swelling shut and his lips were cracked and dry. Fili looked at his uncle with sad eyes. _

_ "Don't move, Uncle. You could hurt yourself. Wait there." even if it was only a short distance away, the crawl to Thorin felt like miles to Fili. Thorin instantly had his nephew pulled against him. Fili smiled. _

_ "We're going to be okay, aren't we, Uncle?"_

_ "Yes, Fili. We are going to be okay." Thorin knew that he wasn't all that convincing, but at the moment when he knew he was dying, that his heir was dying, and that his other heir was bound to follow their lead, that was the best he could do. And that was when he realized that his line had already ended. And that didn't matter to him. What mattered was that his __**nephews**__, not __**heirs**__, who were so young and lively, were going to die. For him._

_ Fili also knew it was the end. For him and Thorin, but he believed that Kili would make it. He didn't know how, but he knew._

_ "I may not get to say goodbye to him before I go." Fili thought for a moment. "But at least he won't be there. You should stay with him, Uncle." Fili smiled up at Thorin, who had shifted to a sitting position and rested Fili's head in his lap, tilted away from the battle._

_ "No, Fili." Thorin shook his head. Fili frowned. _

_ "Don't worry, Uncle. He'll protect you. It's not to late."_

_ "Fili... You need to rest. Close your eyes." Fili relaxed his body and closed his eyes. "Your losing a lot of blood." He heard Thorin say. So that was the cause of the sticky warmth around him. It didn't seem to bother him. What bother him was the fact that not only was it his blood, but Thorin's._

_ "Uncle?"_

_ "Hhm?"_

_ "You'll watch him, won't you?"_

_ "Yes, Fili. We both will."_

_ Fili, who thought of the words as comfort before death, knew nothing of the true meaning. And Thorin was glad that Fili's eyes were closed, in fear of Fili following his gaze to the gruesome scene that Thorin couldn't tear his eyes from._

_ Kili saw his brother's peaceful rest and he looked up to Thorin's eyes. Thorin turned away in shame of not being able to help his youngest nephew. Kili knew that his uncle was sorry, but, for a moment, the turn seemed to him like rejection. And Kili, for the first time in his life, felt abandoned. He burst into tears as Bolg carved ugly letters into his chest. And Bolg most certainly enjoyed that. Waving to the other orcs, the leader, followed by the others, headed away from the dying family._

_ Kili, Thorin mouthed, not wanting to disturb Fili's peace. I love you and I'm sorry. So, so sorry. _

_ It's okay, Kili mouthed back. I understand. I love you, too. I just wish that our sacrifice could actually buy the others life. _

_ It has, Thorin mouthed before talking aloud. "You fought bravely. Like a warrior. The others will remember us and the dwarves will once again reign in Erebor. And for generations, we will be known."_

_ Kili smiled at his uncle. The both looked down to the dwarf that rested his head in Thorin's lap as he stirred and looked up at Thorin, a smile spread from ear to ear._

_ "And Kili will be a great king, won't he, Uncle?" Fili waited so eagerly for his uncle's response that he was unaware of the choke behind him._

_ Kili choked back tears. It hurt to hold them in. His throat burned and throbbed as did his chest, though it felt more on fire. But he had to keep quiet. Fili would be broken hearted if he knew that Kili was dying as well. _

_ Thorin, on the other hand, wasn't handling it as well. He did, being a master at hiding emotion, mask it better, but Fili was staring at him and not at Kili. _

_ "Yes, Fili. Kili..." he began to cry at this point and Fili worried for his uncle. Thorin never cried._

_ "Uncle?"_

_ "Kili will be a king. He will be a great king." Fili sighed, contently. He laid his head down and again closed his eyes. _

_ "Yes. And he'll not only be king," Fili whispered as if to himself. "He'll be king of Erebor!" Thorin could only nod._

_ Fili sat up suddenly and his grimaced as pain scolded him. He was over come will fear and his eyes showed it._

_ "What is it, child?" Thorin placed a hand on Fili's shoulder and silently begging Fili not to turn around. _

_ "Uncle?" Fili's voice quavered._

_ "Yes, Fili?"_

_ "I'm blacking out. Am I dying?" Fili knew the answer. And he instantly regretted the question. _

_ Thorin's tears made tracks through the dried blood on his face. He opened his mouth to say something, though he didn't know what, and his bottom jaw shook up and down. _

_ Fili could feel cold hands dragging him from life. He cupped his uncle's cheek and wiped at the tears. _

_ "Don't cry, Uncle. I'm sorry I asked. But I'm on my way out. I love you. Tell Kili that I love him, too. Tell him I know he is gonna be a great king. Tell him that..." Fili knew that Thorin was dying, too. He didn't see the point in giving him a message that he would never be able to deliver._

_ Fili grabbed Thorin and they sat in each others arms, sobbing and whispering as much comfort as they could offer. _

_ Kili longed to join them, but he knew that it was for Fili's own good that they were keeping Kili's death a secret. And he watched as Fili drooped, lame and lifeless, in Thorin's arms. He watched as Thorin looked up at the sky and screamed, agony and hate built into one loud shout that across the battle field was more than likely pleasing Bolg. Kili released his own scream, horror and disbelief built up his. He crawled to Thorin and his sagging brother, though his chest, settling down while he was watching, fired up again as he made the slightest movement. He ignored it, biting his lip to keep the scream inside. But why should he contain it? It held not only the pain of injuries, but the pain of losing the will to live. Pain of the death of a loved one. Not just any loved one. Fili._

_ As he reached the two, Kili threw himself upon his brother and cried and screamed and cried and screamed. As he rose and fell on Fili's chest, he..._

_ Rose and fell! Fili's chest!_

_ "He's alive! Uncle, he's breathing! He's going to live." kili cried more, but this time it was tears of happiness. Thorin nodded. _

_ "Yes, child. He is." And he also cried with joy, but his joy was still mixed with pain. Kili took such cheer from the slightest signs. Fili may die over night. And Kili was bound to die no matter what!_

_ Thorin pulled Kili and the unconscious Fili into a group hugs. "I love you both so very, very much."_

_ "I love you, too." Kili sighed. Though he was in physical pain, Kili was content. "And you too, Brother."_

_ And Thorin stayed there. He sat there as Kili's light died away. He sat there as the battle died away, though it had died to him long before it had actually ended. He sat there holding two treasures worth more to him than any mountain full with gold. He sat there holding two treasures worth more to him then the Arkenstone itself. In his arms he held sons. Not sons born to him, but sons that loved him like a father. Sons he had helped raise. Sons that followed him to their death. What kind of a father was he?_

_ He sat there till he, too, was slowly pulled into darkness and as he slipped away he felt large and familiar hands holding him. He heard voices that he had thought lost. And then he blacked out. _

_ xXxXx_

_ Fili sat on the bed next to his mother. His arms wrapped around her and her's around him. His face was buried in her shoulder as he shook with sobs. Dis, not matter how much she wanted to cry with him, stayed strong and stroked his tangled hair, whispering words that Fili was deaf to. _

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**_Omigosh! Three words: I HATE autocorrect! I usually like it cause it finishes the words for you and people are lazy like that. But writing a middle earth story is kinda hard with autocorrect. Did the best I could, though! ;) Hope you enjoyed it! Follow, Fav, and Comment! I always love to hear from you guys! And, by the way, my thumbs are so cramped up right now! :P _**


	3. Destroyed Family

_**Okay. I wrote half of the chapter and the iPod deleted it. Yes... :( I said it. I am typing this chapter on the IPod (Even though I said I wouldn't). And I got sooo excited for the Desolation of Smaug trailer that was supposedly coming out today and I have been checking for it all day! And I can't find it anywhere! **_

_**Going to start using song lyrics. Picked out to songs for this fic. First is Slipped away by Avril Lavigne. Lyrics for the chapter:**_

I miss you, miss you so bad

I don't forget you, oh it's so sad

I hope you can hear me

I remember it clearly

The day you slipped away

Was the day I found it won't be the same

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He had died that morning. The morning after the battle. He and Thorin had both been shot after Fili had passed out. Knowing that their recovery was impossible, everyone did what they could to give the dwarf king and prince comfort in their last hours.

xXxXx

Thorin sat on a chair beside Kili's bed. He leaned on his elbow and closed his eyes.

Kili groaned and his eyes rolled open. He twisted his head till he saw his uncle sitting beside him. "Uncle?" Thorin's head shot up. He sighed with relief. Leaning over, Thorin took his nephew's hand.

"Kili."

Kili smiled at Thorin before his blood stained teeth were once again covered by his lips and the corners of his mouth pulled down. "Fili?" He asked with misty eyes. Thorin let go of Kili's hand, sat back, and sighed.

"I haven't seen him, child. I've been told that he is fine. He will live. He is still unconsious, though. Would you like me to send some one to get him?"

_Yes_! Kili's heart screamed. "No." Kili sook his head. "I don't want him to see me like this. There was a reason we kept it from him." Those bloody teeth smiled at Thorin again and he smiled back.

"No keeping it from him now, Kili." Thorin mentally slapped himself as Kili's face dropped into despair.

"Uncle?" Kili clawed at the air until he gripped Thorin's arm. Thorin drew back, startled by the sudden movement. He rested a assuring hand on the hand holding his arm. Kili sighed. "He'll be alright?"

"That is up to him." Kili lay back down and stared at the ceiling.

"I hope so." They sat for awhile in silence. Kili then turned to see his uncle was close to sleep. "Fili will be a great king, won't he, Uncle?" He was talking more to himself, but Thorin heard.

Thorin sat up, choking on tears. That question... It was... Way to familiar. Another life. Another situation. Another dying voice croaking out the same words. Fili.

"Yes." Was all Thorin managed. It was all he hoped. But Kili's smile was comforting.

"I love him." Kili burst into tears. "I love you."

"Oh, child. We'll shall have none of that." Thorin wiped Kili's face with his large thumb.

"I'm gonna... Miss you... Both. And... Mom." Kili's breath was short and loud. Coming out with the sound of thunder, but quieter.

"I know. But I will be joining you soon."

"That will... Be... Nice."

"Yes, Kili. It will. I can't imagine anything better."

"Fili." was Kili's short and simple answer.

Thorin dropped from the chair and landed on his knees. Gripping his nephew's hand, he rested his forehead on their entwined hands. They cried and comforted each other until Kili's cries seized. Thorin stayed where he was, never letting go of Kili's cold hand.

Bofur came in a short time after. Thorin willingly let Bofur help him to his own bed and stared at the ceiling. Bofur sat in a chair next to the bed and began to update Thorin on the happenings in the camp. When he realized that his audience of one cared for none of his words, Bofur, with a deep sigh, left the tent.

xXxXx

Fili demanded to be brought to his brother and, after her failing efforts to keep Fili in bed, Dis was helping Fili across the camp.

Everyone was busy doing something and it was a beautiful morning. But Fili took no notice of the scenery and most of the others went out of their way to avoid the dwarf prince. Those who stayed close looked him up and down with sympathetic eyes. He looked away from their gaze.

Fili tried his best to make the trip easier for Dis, but his twisted leg was unable to support him and, in the end, he leaned on his mother for full support. She was a strong dwarf and held her son up with great strength.

When they reached a large tent, Dis grabbed Fili's arm before he could rush in. He cringed as her finger dug into a wound, but she didn't let go.

"Fili," Her voice was soft. "I don't want you to go in, but if you must then-" Fili's laugh was full of pain and it was cut short.

"I'm going in. I didn't come to this door just to stand outside."

"I know." Dis sighed. Fili's answer had been predictable. "I just don't want you to be upset." Fili grunted as he turned on his heel and pushed the tent flap aside.

xXxXx

The company had taken turns trying to talk to Thorin. The only time he responded was with Balin, but it wasn't because of anything Balin had said or done. It was the sound of someone entering that roused Thorin. He did his best to look around Balin, but he was to weak.

"Balin?"

"Of course." Balin stood, bowed, and left the room. Thorin instantly wished Balin had stayed.

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**Sorry to interrupt the feels, but I'm here with joyous news... I JUST WATCHED THE DESOLATION OF SMAUG TRAILER! AHHHHH! I'm sorry. I am uncontrollably excited and I didn't know how to channel my excitement, so... I decided to take it out on you guys! The only flaw was the exclusion of Fili and Kili. They need more screen time (even if it is just the first trailer)! :) Anyway... Just wanted to let you now how happy I was. And even with this little message you are unable to tell how excited I am. There are no words to describe! And now... Back to destroyed feels...**

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Fili ran to his brother's side and dropped to his knees. He grabbed Kili's icey hand and lay his forehead against their clasped hands. Thorin turned away from the sight the reminded him to much of the scene not long before. Only a few hours.

"Kili!" Fili's voice rose in anger. "How could you? Why would you do this to me? I... You... You..." Fili's rage was shattered by tears. A waterfall of tears. "You left me." Fili turned to Dis with misty eyes. "He left me? Why would he leave me?"

"Oh, Fili!" Dis ran to her boys and pulled both of them close. The shaking one and the still one. "Fili?"

Fili looked up into his mother's eyes. A tear dripped over her lashes and they stuck together after it had fallen.

"He left to protect you, love." Dis swiped a strand of Fili's usually neat hair behind his ear.

"From what? Death? Even death itself would be better then this." Fili turned to his dead brother and Dis retreated to the tent door, the bitter words of her son clawed deep into her heavy heart.

"Dis?" Both mother and son turned towards the forgotten uncle. Dis ran to her brother's side and sat on the chair beside this bed.

"Thorin!" She scolded. "What have you gotten yourself into?"

Thorin smiled, but his smile soon faded as he shook with a fit of coughing. Dis watched in horror as blood seeped out of Thorin's mouth and dripped down his chin. Ripping a strip of cloth from her dress, Dis dabbed Thorin's face He smiled at her and grabbed her wrist, stopping her soft wiping.

"You'll never change."

Dis put her hands on her hips and frowned down on Thorin. "Of course not. Who else is going to clean up after you? All the trouble you cause will be the death of me!" Dis shook her fist at Thorin. He smiled and painfully laughed.

"I love you, Dis."

"Oh," Dis began to tear up again. She leaned onto Thorin and they lay there in each others arms. "I love you, too, Thorin." There was silence. "Father would be proud."

"Would he?" The two turned to Fili, whom they had forgotten his presence. His hands were on his hips and the angery fire burning in his eyes frightened them both. "I never got to meet my grandfather, but would he really aprrove of this?" Fili raised his hands and swept them through the air. "Would he really be proud of a lair? A king that leads his people to certain death? That is to weak to keep himself alive? That would leave his injured heir to restore the mess he made? Would he be proud of that?"

"Fili!" Dis stood up and sternly adressed her son. He had no right to speak to Thorin like that. He was his uncle. His _king_. "You will apologize to Thorin right now!"

"For what!? Speaking the truth!?" Both of their voices were rising, leaving them deaf to the whimpers of a deafeted and ashamed Thorin. Fili looked around his mother and into his uncle's dying eyes. He took joy in Thorin's suffering and a hint of a smile shown on his face. He shook his head. "I am ashamed to call you uncle. No uncle of mine would choose gold over... Over..." Fili's eyes flickered back to Kili. "I only hope to rule your people in a better way then you ever could." He turned on his heel, said one last goodbye to Kili with a kiss on the fore head, and stormed out of the tent.

"Fili! Fili, you come back here right-" Dis followed Fili to the door, stopping only when she heard the weak, trembling voice behind her.

"No. He's right."

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**An apology for any broken hearts, destroyed feels, so on. I hope all will be forgiven? Hate to end it here, but who doesn't love a great cliff hanger? Until next time! **

**P.S. Thanks for sticking with me, guys! 3 :) You are truly amazing!**


	4. Forgiveness and Goodbyes

**Sorry to those who were promised a chapter over the weekend! I know... I know! I hate myself, too! And another apology for this week. Having some family coming in from out of state for my sister's graduation and I may not be able to update often! Will try though! I love writing it as much as I hope you guys love reading it! By the way, I'm sorry for typos. Autocorrect again! My computer should be ready soon!**

**Song lyrics for today:**

I didn't get around to kiss you

Goodbye on the hand

I wish that I could see you again

I know that I can't

I hope you can hear me cause I remember it clearly

The day you slipped away

Was the day I found it won't be the same

* * *

Thorin turned away from Dis. He didn't know how to react to the situation at hand and he was beginning to try and hurry death.

"Thorin," Dis protested. "He needs to take back what he just said! None of it is true!"

"Dis," In the depth of Thorin's blue eyes, Dis saw pain and sadness. He held a burden to heavy for him. One he shouldn't have to bear at a time like this. "All I wanted was the best for him. I thought that-"

"Shht" Dis stuck her nose in the air and closed her eyes, pointing to the sky. "Save it." Thorin didn't know what to say and he watched as Dis turned her back on him and exited the tent. Had he lost them all?

xXxXx

Fili did the best he could to walk as far from the tent as quickly as possible. He cursed a few times and stopped only a few yards from the tent. He felt a tear cling to his lower lashes and cursed more. He didn't notice Dwalin approaching him.

"Need some help there, Lad?" Fili looked up and took in the warrior's appearance. Was the same as ever except for a crusty red gash above his right eye that curved to his chin. He had a few other scrapes here and there. Nothing permanant except for the scar that his face wound was sure to leave.

"No!" Fili growled. "I'm fine!" But as he stepped forward, Fili's twisted leg caught on a rock that jut out of the ground. He yelped as he fell forward and Dwalin's strong hands caught him before he hit the ground.

"You sure about that?" Fili groaned as he leaned into Dwalin. Dwalin scooped him up like a dwarfling and carried him to a nearby tree. Fili didn't protest. He laid his head against Dwalin's large chest and closed his eyes, the rise and fall of Dwalin's breath was like a lullaby to him. Dwalin lay him on the ground with his back to the tree trunk and slid down next to him.

"Anything you want to talk about, Fili?" Fili shook his head. Dwalin sighed. Stubborness of dwarves. Mainly the heirs of Durin. "You sure about that?" Fili nodded.

"Lad," Dwalin decided that if Fili didn't want to talk then he would, "When you were little more than a dwarfling and before Kili was born, Thorin told me that he wanted the best for you. He said that he lead his people poorly and there wasn't many descisions he made that he didn't regret, but he regretted not being able to give his people a better life. He said that his greatest regret was not being able to give _you_ a better life. A better home. And right before the battle? He told me that he loved you both like sons. He tried to pursuade you to stay inside the mountian and he even asked me to. He wanted nothing more then the safety and wellbeing of you and your brother. Only now do I think-"

"Fili!" Dwalin looked up to see an angry Dis storming towards them. Fili didn't even lift his head. He stayed where he was with his head in Dwalin's shoulder and tears falling from his eyes. "Fili! You answer me right now!"

"C'mon, Lad." Dwalin started to get to his feet only to be stopped by Fili's desperate grip on his arm. Fili looked the old warrior in the eye and shook his head. He wasn't ready to face his mother. Not yet.

Dis had reached them and stood before them with her legs spread out and her hands on her hips. Her angry blue eyes looked sternly at Fili. He hung his head. Anyway to avoid her was a path he would go down.

"Fili!" Dis grabbed her son's shoulder and he jumped, yelping as she dug her fingers into a deep cut. She felt bad, but she didn't let go. Pulling Fili to his feet with dwarf strength, Dis turned him to look at her. "Come back inside. We need to have a little talk. Your uncle has something to say to you."

Dis' hand slid from his shoulder, down his strong arm, and wrapped around his wrist. She began to pull him back to the tent. Fili stood his ground and yanked his hand away from her. "I don't want to hear it!"

Dis stomped back to her son. "I do not wish to hear your wants and unwants! You will hear what Thorin has to say! You will come willingly or I will have you carried!"

"No! You can't make me!" Fili crossed his arms. He felt bad for yelling at his idol, but he was stubborn and didn't know what to do or how to apologize.

"Fine! Dwalin, will you assist me?" Dis nodded towards the defiant prince who was now shooting worried glances between Dis and Dwalin.

"Of course, my lady." Dwalin answered, though he grumbled to himself as he scooped Fili back into his arms. Fili screamed and kicked and Dis couldn't help but smile a bit. Every dwarf needed a bit of fight. She then frowned. This was not the time for Fili to act as he was. He should be handling it like a grown dwarf. Like a king. He'd soon have to learn about his actions as a king.

Wiping a tear from her eye, Dis lead the way into the tent. Thorin lay with his back to the door. Dwalin dropped Fili, who slumped into a heap on the floor, and bowed as he backed out of the tent.

Fili whimpered, not dareing to move or look up.

"Thorin?" Dis slowly approached the bed. "Fili is here. Did you have something you wanted to tell him?"

Fili saw his chance to make a run for it. But something told him not to. He wouldn't even make it that far. He sighed as he realized that he'd have to bear whatever Dis and Thorin had to say to him.

Thorin slowly and painfully turned till he was faceing them. "Fili?" He reached out his hand. Fili straightened his neck and back and looked his uncle in the eyes. _Just get it over with_! was the message that was sent through eye contact. A tear slipped from Thorin's eye. He'd do his best to reason with his nephew.

"Fili," Thorin sighed, "Half of me wanted to leave you with Dis. But the other half of me knew neither of you would stay. You both wanted adventure. Trouble. And I thought that bringing you along would be satisfying for you and enjoyable for me."

"You still desired gold over us." Fili murmured, once again slumping down and looking at the ground.

"No, Fili. I desired a better life for you both. I wanted you to grow up in your rightful kingdom. I wanted you to _rule_ your rightful kingdom."

"And now I have to! Are you happy now!?"

"Fili!" Dis scolded. "Do you not hear what he is trying to say!? He wanted the best for you!"

"I had all I needed! Family! And now that is gone!"

"And your the one tearing it apart!" Fili was alarmed by his mother's words. Was that true? Was he the true cause of this pain?

"No!" Fili refused to believe it. "No!"

"Fili," Dis voice softened as she reached out to her eldest son and knelt beside him. "You'll be alright if you just let us back in. We are all you have left."

"No, no! Uncle!" Fili lept into Thorin's arms. "Uncle, I'm so, so sorry! So terribly sorry! I'm scared and I don't know what to do. You've got to stay here, okay?" Tears flooded down from Fili's eyes and dripped onto Thorin's chest where Fili lay his head. "You've got to stay with me! Or else I'm lost!"

"No, Fili." Thorin put a hand under Fili's chin and lifted his face till they were eye to eye. He wiped Fili's tear and smiled weakly. Fili returned the smile and wiped Thorin's own tears. "You will have your mother." Thorin smiled at Dis, who stood in a shadowy corner and smiled back while tears glistening in her soft blue eyes. "And the other members of the company. You will have a kingdom. And you will care for it? For them?"

Fili nodded. "Yes, Uncle. For you." Fili lay his head down and his body shook with silent cries. Both Dis and Thorin cried also. Thorin combed Fili's tangled hair with his fingers. Dis kissed them both on the head and left the tent, neither Fili nor Thorin knew why. Neither of them cared. They were together for the moment and that was all that mattered. And Dis would come back to join them.

Thorin undid Fili's messy braids. He hadn't had the time to redo them for a couple of days. Thorin thought about Fili with a longer beard and different braid patterns. He'd have to grow it for his position as king. It be for the best, anyway.

Fili closed his eyes. Thorin's large fingers running through his hair reminded him of a time when he was much younger. The first time he'd braided his hair. Thorin had decided that it was about time for him to start braiding and he had had a hard time getting them right. Thorin had done his braids for the first few months. But that was long ago. Thorin hadn't done his hair since then and to feel his fingers in Fili's hair once again was like remembering something that was long forgotten.

Thorin's shaking hands made it hard for him to finish Fili's half done braid, but he wasn't about to give up. "Uncle?" Thorin stopped.

"Yes, Fili?" He continued to braid.

"I miss him."

"I know."

"You should have told me." Fili's voice was calm as he spoke. He wasn't angry. He was just upset. A little disappointed. "I didn't get to say goodbye. I would have liked to say goodbye."

Thorin stopped midbraid. Self loathing came at him after realization hit him. He'd kept it from Fili for his own good? No. He kept it from Fili for... For what? Now that he thought about it, he realized that he didn't know why he kept it from Fili. Would it have been better if Fili had been aware of Kili dying. Maybe now. But on the battlefield, when Fili thought that he, too, would die, it wouldn't have been better. Or would it?

"I'm sorry, Fili! So, so sorry! I should have told you! I should have-"

Fili lifted his head and reached his hand up to cup Thorin's face. "Shh. It's okay. I forgive you. And him." Fili looked over to where Kili's body still lay. He'd have to be buried soon. Along with Thorin.

Thorin rested his hand ontop of Fili's. "Thank you, child. I can go soon. Now that all is forgiven."

"Not yet!" Both Thorin and Fili turned to see Dis enter the tent followed by Balin, Dwalin, Bifur, Bofur, Bombur, Oin, Gloin, Dori, Nori, and Ori.

"I thought you would want to see them." Dis said. She leaned in close to Thorin and added, "If you don't mind the company. It may be a little much?"

Thorin shook his head. "No," he whispered back. "It'll be fine." As Dis stood up Thorin grabbed her arm and gently pulled her back down. "Thank you." She nodded and smiled with closed lips. A tear trickled down her face as did tears on the faces of all the others.

Fili smiled. Thorin was right. Though he'd miss Thorin and Kili, he'd have family.

* * *

**I meant to make this chapter longer, but family has already begun to come and I thought it was about time for you guys to see a new chapter. I'll write this week during all the free time I have. I write at night a lot. So it may take awhile for new chapters, but they will come! Love you all! Follow, favorite, and comment! I always love hearing from you no matter what you have to say!**


	5. Gone

**Finally got away from crazy second cousins! How'd you guys like the last chapter? Hope you liked it!**

**Song lyrics for today:**

I had my wake up

Won't you wake up

I keep asking why

And I can't take it

It wasn't fake

It happened, you passed by

* * *

The dwarves smiled and laughed as they retold talks from their childhood, memories, and feeling. Anything that involved another one of the company that was held dear to the speakers heart. Or just caused a good laugh. The most popular topic was any tale from the most resent adventure.

Fili smiled, looking from one face to another. He turned to his left, expecting to see Kili looking at him with a similar smile on his own face. His smile faded when he saw Thorin in Kili's place.

Thorin turned to Fili, expectinlaw smile and laughter. When he saw disssapiointment, Thorin's own smile faded. Had his nephew pushed him away again?

Bofur stopped in the middle of his tale. He was telling the story from Mirkwood when Bombur fell into the enchanted stream. Bombur had looked down and the floor, his face a bright shade of red and mumbled words passing through his lips. When he heard Bofur stop midsentence, he looked up and saw the whole company fidgeting uncomfortably. All of them watched Thorin and Fili closely.

Fili saw Thorin's face become cheerless. What happened? What about Fili had made his uncle so upset? He didn't have to think about it for very long. It was written in Thorin's eyes. He wanted acceptance! He thought that Fili still hated him!

"Oh, Uncle!" A tear clung to Fili's lower lashes. "I love you!"

A sigh of relief escaped Thorin's lips. "Fili! Oh, Fili! I love you, too!"

"Boys!" Dis exclaimed as she hopped onto the bed with them. They clung to each other and over the shoulders of Fili and Dis, Thorin saw Balin wave to the remaining dwarves and the began to follow him out. Catching the eye of the old dwarf, Thorin motioned with his head for them to stay. Balin shoulders rose and fell with a sigh and his head tilted to one side.

Walking slowly to the bedside, Balin bowed low. Before he knew it, Thorin and pulled him into a hug. They shared a laugh and a couple of tears and then Balin stepped back. The process was repeated till every dwarf got to say goodbye. Then they left and Thorin let them. He turned back to Dis and Fili.

"I've got to go soon. You've got to let go." Thorin looked to Fili, but Dis knew he spoke to them both. He knew that she'd have a hard time saying goodbye to her brother. They had already lost one.

"No! No! No, Uncle! I can't!"

Dis lay her hand on Fili's shoulder and he turned to her. Dis looked from Fili's misty eyes to Thorin's and back. "Don't make this hard."

Fili turned back to Thorin. "It is going to be to hard for _me_!"

"I know, Fili." Thorin laid his hand on Fili's cheek and Fili's hand went up to meet it. "But I told Kili I'd be there. He's waiting. He needs me."

"No, Uncle! You need to stay here with _me_! _I_ need you!"

"You already have everyone you need. Kili is alone."

"No." Fili shook his head. "Not _everyone_."

"Fili," Thorin begged his nephew to understand. "Let go."

"Not yet! Please! Not yet!"

"No," Thorin smiled. "Not just yet. There is still one other I have to see."

xXxXx

Everyone, even a handful from the other races, had been sent out onto the battlefield to search for Bilbo. Dis watched as the dispersed. She then took a few reluctant steps forward, unwilling to step into the scars of battle. A battle that had taken her life away from her.

Balin and Fili walked on either side of her, both very uncomfortable. Fili could barely stand it. He knew he was on the edge of insanity and he caught Balin giving him worried glances.

Fili stopped, his eyes widening And his mouth dropping open. Dis and Balin had walked a few steps ahead before they felt Fili's absence. They turned and saw him standing as still as a statue. He stared at something on the ground, horrified. Leaning over he picked up a beautifully carved bow. It had obvious dents in it from trampling feet.

"Fili?" Dis stepped forward and a gentle hand on her arm stopped her from going any further.

Fili looked into his mother's eyes. He backed away from the two dwarfs staring at him. he shook his head and searched for words, but they had been forgotten. Everything had been snatches from him. He turned and ran, tears racing down his face and the bow held to his chest.

"Fili!" Dis reached out for him. He didn't turn around and Balin stopped her from following him.

"He'll be alright, my lady. He just needs some time." Dis nodded. Balin was right. She wiped her eyes and sniffed, letting Balin lead her across the field.

xXxXx

Fili sat with his back against a tree. He rocked back and forth, holding the bow close to his chest and sobbing openly. No one was around to see anyway.

He was... _Gone_? Kili was really _gone_? No.

Fili, his heart lied to him. _This is only a dream! No! It's only a nightmare! You've got to wake up! Kili is waiting for you_!

Fili tried to believe his heart. He looked for his way out of this torment. A light some where that he could use as an anchor back to reality. But there was none and he was forced to feel the full force of the past day. This _was_ reality!

"Fili?" He'd been there for awhile when Dis finally found him. She sighed with relief and slipped down next to him. He didn't even look at her. He stared blankly ahead.

"He gone? Isn't he?" He turned to look at her. His eyes were red and puffy and Dis could see tear tracks on his cheeks. Dis felt tears rise in her own eyes.

"Yes." She nodded.

"Why?" A childish question. But to Dis, Fili still was a child.

"I don't know, Fili. Everyone is called home at some point. Some earlier then others."

"But I don't want him to be gone."

"No one does. But it is not for us to bring him back. We have not the power to command life and death. We are not the masters. We are the victims. But we can all take comfort in others."

Fili opened his mouth to speak, but he found Dis' finger lightly pressing on his lips.

"The ones we have left."

"So it's not a dream?" Dis shook her head. "So I can't wake up? He can't wake up?"

"He can't," Dis smiled at her little boy. "But you can."

* * *

**Sorry about the short chapter! Okay... Maybe not _that_ short! I just thought that that was the perfect ending and I didn't know where else to go with that chapter. Favorite, follow, and review! I _love_ to hear from you guys!**


	6. The End

**Sorry it took awhile to get another chapter up!**

**Lyrics for today:**

Now you are gone, now you are gone

There you go, there you go

Somewhere I can't bring you back

Now you are gone, now you are gone

There you go, there you go,

Somewhere you're not coming back

* * *

Dis walked Fili through the forest. Their arms were hooked together and Kili's bow hung on Fili's shoulder. Dis didn't even try to take it from him. It wasn't even necessary. Yet. Silence settled in the air until there was the faint sound of running water.

They walked until they were on the shore of a little stream.

"I think," Fili heard his own voice echo through the trees. "I'm going to wash."

"Okay," Dis nodded. "I think that is a good idea." She stepped behind him and began to help him undress.

"Mom," Fili whispered, a little embarrassed. "I don't need your help. I'm an adult now."

"Right," Dis nodded again as she took a step back, staring into Fili's eyes as he turned to look at her. A tear rested on his lashes like raindrops resting on the leaves. Her own eyes were glazed. "Of course." She backed up a few steps before actually turning around and walking away.

Fili wished she had stayed. The minute he began to undress, his aching muscles punished him. It took sometime, and lots of grinding teeth and curses, before Fili finally slipped into the cool water with a sigh.

xXxXx

Fili wrung out his wet hair. He stared at the far side of the stream and into the trees as he combed his mane with large fingers.

The water had swallowed him up with soft whispers of welcome. Cold fingers caressed his skin and he had closed his eyes and sank in down to his neck.

Fili shivered as he sat on the bank. He hadn't had anything to dry off with, so his clothes clung to him. He closes his eyes and leaned back as he braided his hair. He had debated wether or not to take out the braids that Thorin had done. In the end, he took them out. They had already been messy since they were done with shaky fingers similar to the ones remaking them.

After he was done braiding, Fili stood up and looked around. He hasn't bothered to memorize how he and Dis had gotten to the stream. He turned in slow circles, cursing his twisted leg for slowing him down. He picked a direction before limping off into the trees.

He was lost. Obviously lost. And he started to become slightly frightened. "Mom?" He whispered. "Mom!?" He said, a little louder and a lot less calm. He panicked. "Mom!" He screamed, the lost little boy inside him was taking over. He didn't have strength to fight back.

He wanted to run, in any direction, but he was injured and his leg was shriveled and gnarly. He could barely put weight on it and it eventually begged him to stop using it at all. He sat down, granting its request, and slumping in defeat. Life took people down so easily. In different ways then just death.

Fili sat uncomfortably. He didn't move, though, and he began to slip into uneasy sleep. But before his brain shut off, Fili could have sworn that he heard voices in the distance. Like bell chimes being carried off with the wind.

xXxXx

"Fili?" Fili felt a cold hand on his forehead. His eyelids shot up and he squirmed, trying to sit up.

"Fili." The hand left his forehead and his shoulders were gripped tightly and firm hands gently stilled him. His breathing was heavy as he tried to focus his eyes. _Where am I?_

When his vision cleared, Fili saw his mother smiling down at him. He sighed, comforted by her presence. He looked around the room. Same room he'd woken up in that morning.

"Fili," He turned back to Dis. She sighed and looked at the floor. "Lay down."

Fili nodded and lay his head on the pillow. He looked at his mother from the corner of his eye and studied her. Teary eyes. The way she sat made him shift, uncomfortably. She didn't sit like that unless something troubled her. When Fili's father died. The night before Fili left with his brother and his uncle._ Thorin sits like that, too_, Fili thought. When Dis was delivering Kili. When he was debating whether or not to bring the boys with him. He'd done it a lot on the quest. With his left arm in his lap, cupping the elbow of his right arm. And his right hand covering his mouth with his thumb gripping his chin. That was how Dis sat then.

She sniffed and let out a shaky sigh through her mouth.

"Mom?" Fili reached out for her hand and stared into her eyes. She smiled and took his hand, gripping it tightly and shaking it. Fili sat up and reached for a tear that slipped off Dis' long lashes. He wiped it away with a large thumb. He quickly noticed dirt under his nails that his bath hadn't washed away, but he didn't mind. All that mattered to him at the moment was his mother. "Why are you crying?"

It was an obvious answer and Fili didn't blame her for crying. He wanted to join her, but he knew that she needed comfort and not another person to share in her sufferings.

"Fili," Dis' whisper made him uneasy. He hated that tone. That was the tone of voice she'd used when she was going to tell him something that he wouldn't want to hear. He flinched, but didn't turn away from her peircing blue eyes. Thorin's eyes. That is what made him shift. It was Thorin's eyes staring at him. He wanted to turn away, but her eyes held his gaze.

"What? What is it?" His voice was small and worried.

Dis sighed. "Thorin... Your uncle... He..." Dis' head fell into her hands and a sob broke free. Fili laid a hand on her back. His mind was so fogged and confused. He didn't want to press her, but he wanted to know what was wrong. Dis raised her head and, when she looked at him, he noticed that the blue eyes that had made him shudder only moments ago, were red and puffy with tears still glistening on their surface. When she smiled softly, her lips shook. "He is... He is dead."

Fili's eyes widened in horror. His mouth was slightly ajar. He shook his head. "No. No." Fili began a desperate struggle to swing his legs over the side of the bed. "No, no, no, no," he kept whispering, repeatedly. "No!" Fili head bent over into his hands as he gave up the fight. His body shook with fits of sobs and Dis laid her hand on his back, rubbing it while taking care not to infuriate his wounds.

"Oh, Fili." She spoke softly, her voice and his cries the only sounds. "It is okay. Everything is fine."

Fili looked up at her with sad blue eyes. "How can you be so sure?"

""Fili. I loved Thorin just as much as you did, but," Fili realized that she was right. He was so busy feeling bad for himself, he forgot that his mother had also been hurt by the lose. The lose of her brother. Fili should know how much that hurt.

"I'm sorry, Mum." Fili reached out for her and she grabbed his wrist, giving it a comforting sqeeze. He smiled softly. "I'm so sorry."


	7. Author's Note (Please Read!)

**Hello everyone! I have some news. I am going to be deleting this story for now. I may come back and start it over later, but for now I think I'll quit. Sorry! But don't worry! I am starting a new Fili and Kili story so be on the look out for that! Sorry! :( I added the last chapter cause I thought it might be an okay ending for now!**


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